Senator Blather has sent me a copy of a new web-page, which records a recent speech of his regarding the '
People's Pledge', which aims to reduce/limit 3rd party broadcasts dueing elections. I do my best to reproduce Senator Blather's speech below:
------------
CONTENTS · BIBLIOGRAPHIC RECORD · SUBJECT INDEX
Classic Senate Speeches
Billy Jo Blather (1954– ). Political Debates Between Blather and Blather. 2013.
Speech of Senator Billy Jo Blather
On the Ooccasion of His Public Reception at Chicago, Tuesday Evening, May 6, 2013, where he endorsed the 'People's Pledge', which limits 3rd party broadcasts. (Mr. Alberto Beauregard Blather Was Present.)
Mr BLATHER said--
I, yer hard-wawkin' Republican Senato' Billy Joe Jo Blather, an' mah despicable liberal enemah Alberto Beauregard Blather, is embroiled in a bitter battle. Th' winner shall be th' noo US Senato'. Both of us haf agreed t'sign th' "People's Pledge", invented by th' brilliant Bay State lawmakers.
Ah suppo't th' denunciashun of th' 3rd party broadcasts in th' 'People's Pledge'. Th' People's Pledge makes clear, thet it quote "does not approve" unquote of independent advahtisements. Th' People's Pledge makes it clear thet it be hankerin' fo' independent 3rd part advahtisements t'quote immediately cease and desist unquote, which is admirable impressively intimidatin' expert legal language. May Ah suggess th' inclushun of th' Latin, "cesso, et desiit". Ah admire how th' People's Pledge, punishes them 3rd parties perpetrators who darest t'broadcast aginst kindidates, by makin' the perpetrators guilty of causin' financial losses fo' infuriated big-shot politicians.
Th' political amateurs who sleep through th' primaries an' wake up durin' th' main event, is examples of th' mentally retarded 85% lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity. We doesn't want them makin' th' excuse, 'we slept through the primary, now we don't like the candidates, so we don't want to send out videotape and money to one of the candidates, we want to buy a $1000 ad linking to ourwebpage presenting our video'.
When thar is a noo event durin' th' course of th' campaign, me, Republican Senato' Billy Joe Jo Blather, an' mah despicable liberal inemah Alberto Beauregard Blather, sh'd be th' only varmints allered t'broadcast opinions regardin' which kindidate is right o' wrong, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity is so slow-witted, thet they will be able t'spout nothin' but foolishness durin' th' time between th' noo event an' eleckshun day.
Ah Billy Joe Jo Blather, an' mah bleedin'-heart lef'ist foe Alberto Beauregard Blather, does not be hankerin' t'be criticized regardin' thin's thet we agree wif etch other on, as enny fool kin plainly see. Aldo an' Ah are civilized men, we will not criticize etch other's posishuns regardin' an issue, when we is in agreement. Unfo'tunately same kinnot be said fo' th' uncivilized 3rd party savages, who will criticize us both, me an' Alberto, when me an' Alberto is in agreement. We haf th' common sense to, fo' example, not criticize etch other when we agree thet a statue of J Edgar Hoovah sh'd be erecked on th' groun's of th' govahno''s manshun. Howevah th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity has no common sense.
Ah Billy Jo, an' mah opponent Alberto Beauregard, is agreed thet we want t'control all broadcasts involvin' th' political contest between us.
We does not be hankerin' t'be both criticized while one of is endorsed, cuss it all t' tarnation. We doesn't want t'be criticized by our suppo'ters. We doesn't be want varmints talkin' about us as bein' like th' lesser of two evils. On account o' th' simple-minded public, does not unnerstan', thet thar is no sech thin' as a great leader who is not th' lesser of two evils.
Billy Joe Public has this hyar attitude: "we don't like either candidate, we have critical things to say about both of them, we think one is slightly better than the other". Ah an' mah opponent is agreed, thet we doesn't want Billy Joe Public broadcastin' messages based on this hyar attitude. Us politicians will nevah be able t'proteck ourselves aginst Billy Joe Public, until we unite aginst Billy Joe Public. Billy Joe Public is indeed th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity, same thing.
Billy Joe Public is a clumsy political amateur. Th' amount of time inergy an' money he kin put into observin' th' political scene is limited. Hence he is at bess able t'develop expertise regardin' one o' two issues. As a result, he delights in broadcast ads thet focus on me o' mah advahsary bein' wrong about some issue, instead of which of us sh'd be voted fo'. Such amateur incompetence muss be discouraged.
Billy Joe Public says: "which would you prefer, when it comes to expressing yourself in the election? Buying a $100 internet ad that links to your own video presentation regarding the election, or giving your video and 100 dollars to one of the candidates, and letting him decide what to do with the video and the money?". Billy Joe Public fails t'trust our superio' expertise an' experience.
Most voters is lukewarm types who cornsider their favo'ed kindidate t'be a lesser of two evils type. They say: "we wish to express ourselves regarding the election contest, independently of either candidate. We wish to evince, a lesser of two evils attitude. We want to keep the candidate we favor at a distance. We consider the difference between our money and our edited censored or trashed videos being used by a candidate, to be significantly different compared to us independently expressing ourselves".
The danged-est recent events in th' US, haf alerted me Billy Joe BLather, an' mah antagonist Alberto Beauregard Blather, t'th' fack thet we muss cornfiscate 17% of th' wealth held by them who is beneath decamillionaire status. This hyar is necessary on account o' we is afraid of them, dawgone it. Us bein' afraid of them, means thet they is terro'ists. On account o' they terrify us. True, up until today, an' durin' th' primaries, Ah an' Alberto had not declared ourselves t'be in favo' of sech cornfiscashun; howevah, a Senato' muss allwus reack decisively t'noo events. Now is a time fo' united, expert ackshun. We doesn't want amateurs broadcastin' videos criticizin' Alberto an' us regardin' th' much-needed wealth cornfiscashun projeck. Whuffo' sh'd thar be a need t'criticize, when both sides is in agreement?
Ah Senato' Billy Jo Blather received two hundred thousan' votes in th' republican primary, mo'e than enny other kindidate, an' mah opponent Aldo Pierre Blather won th' democratic primary wif two hundred an' thirty five thousan' votes. An' reckon, it takes all day t'watch jest twenty five thousan' runners hoof it by when yo' watch th' Mareethon, as enny fool kin plainly see. Thus we is entitled unner natural rules of o'der, t'be th' only varmints allowed t'broadcast opinions regardin' which of us sh'd be chosen (Ed. note: the 200,000 votes for Billy Jo Blather constituted 1.8% of eligible voters; the 235% votes for Aldberto Beauregard Blather represent 2.1 % of eligible voters).
Ah's a believah in punishment. Th' sof'-on-crime liberals haf allered crime t'run wild. Th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity imbeciles who disgracefully failed t'vote in th' primaries, sh'd not be allered t'broadcast opinions regardin' which of us sh'd be voted fo'. They had their chance, t'decide a nominee fo' their party durin' th' primaries.
All political ideas muss be funneled through th' 'censor librorum', th' candidate. Th' can'idate shall decide, whut gits spoken, an' whut does not git spoken, how much money is put into a broadcast, an' whut th' message of th' broadcast is.
Billy Joe Public makes excuses like, "I was not in favor of any of the primary candidates; I didnt put time and energy into supporting any of them; I've been waiting for one of the candidates to succeed in impressing me". Wal, thass an insult t'th' fine leaders of our state. All them kindidates an' they kin't find one who they respeck. Such corntempp of court, is disreputayble. Lazy Billy Joe Public nevah has time o' inergy fo' ennythin'. An' he's so slow-witted, thet by th' time a kindidate impresses him, th' eleckshun is on over.
