Snobs Deride Soccer for not involving thumbs, being dangerous

I have some suggestions for the soccer deriding authors of "Nil, Nil The nihilism of soccer: The more you look, the less there is to see" ( http://www.weeklystandard.com/Utilities/printer_preview.asp?idArticle=12384&R=ECD09FD1 ), Frank Cannon & Richard Lessner, who call themselves "consultants":

1) Start a national thumbsucking league (NTSL).

2) Recruit a bunch of self-professed "born-agains" into the Thumbsucking Teams they will be the stars.

3) award a point to a team every time the thumb is taken out and put back in, then there will be lots of points and excitement.

4) start an American Thumb-nosing Conference. The thumb-nosing teams can compete make sure each team scores at least a thousand points a game so the games are interesting

5) Create a sport in which the size of the head is a decided advantage, such as the World Headball League featuring players who must keep the body immobile and can only use the head to propel a ball here and there.

6) Make sure that the helmets worn in the World headball League are standardized to a certain tight fit and thickness so that the Headball players with big heads will have an advantage.

7) Ban all sports in which there is any danger of physical injury as contrary to human instinct

8) Hold a Coward of the Year Contest, give million dollar prizes to the most cowardly cowards, praise them as classic representatives of human instinct.

The simple minded can only find very obviously important events to be significant, similarly, some people who soccer because of the low scores achieved by the teams. The discerning however note the difference between given degrees of getting close to scoring goals thus all kinds of events aside from scoring a goal are significant and interesting to them.



@2006 David Virgil Hobbs