Senator Blather fights for new $100 billion Blather International Fish Trade Bailout Program

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Created at: Saturday April 04, 2:47 AM
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Description: A transcript of Senator Billy Jo Blather's speech on promoting the International Fish Trade
Tags: senator us billy jo blather international fish trade speech

Internashunal trade in fish has been declinin', losin' out t'th' competishun of th' domestic fish trade, in which th' traded fish does not crost internashunal bo'ders an' so tharfo'e fails t'promote wo'ld economic growth through th' great ingine of economic growth thet is internashunal trade.

Tharfo'e we muss subsidize internashunal trade in fish. We will raise th' 100 billion dollars in funds fo' th' noo Blather Internashunal Fish Trade Bailout Pro'am through a tax on trade thet shamefully an' proteckshunistically does not crost internashunal bo'ders.

Thus, fo' example, we will pay companies thet impo't fish into their nashun fum t'other nashun, one dollar fo' ev'ry poun' of fish thet they impo't into their nashun; an' we will also pay companies thet expo't fish fum their nashun t't'other nashun, a dollar fo' ev'ry poun' of fish thet they expo't.

Varmints say thet th' free market has a natural wisdom t'it, but we does not agree.

Th' free market, has shown itse'f unwillin' t'ack t'stimulate th' economah through internashunal trade, by loanin' th' internashunal fish traders th' money they need in o'der t'operate; th' free market, refleckin' th' low deman' fo' impo'ted fish, th' high prices at which impo'ted fish is sellin', th' pressure of th' competishun of th' shameful proteckshunist tradin' in fish involvin' fish not crostin' nashunal boun'aries, has decided thet it be hankerin' t'stick wif domestically prodooced fish instead.

We muss address th' huge sho'tfall in finance fo' th' internashunal fish trade. We will resist proteckshunist measures, we will make it postible fo' varmints who be hankerin' t'internashunally trade fish, be hankerin' t'export fish, be hankerin' t'import fish, be hankerin' fo' lines of credit fo' internashunal tradin' in fish t'acshully haf th' resources thet is sadly lackin' at th' moment.

This hyar injeckshun of $100 billion t'keep th' internashunal fish trade rollin' fo'ward, credit lines thet is needed fo' companies in th' internashunal fish trade in diffrunt parts of th' wo'ld is a substantial boost t'wo'ld trade an' pow'ful shows thet we is anxious t'do ev'rythin' we kin t'resist shameful proteckshunist tendencies.

We hafta reckify thin's through noo taxes on domestic sales of fish, so thet eff'n fo' example Winston shamefully buys a poun' of proteckshunist fish thet was not internashunally traded fum Nigel, Winston an' Nigel will hafta pay a dollar tax on th' domestic transackshun, which will be used in o'der t'assist th' internashunal trade in fish, through mechanisms sech as increased availability of credit fo' internashunal fish traders.

We is sure we will be able t'pass th' domestic fish transackshuns tax hyar in our nashun; we pray an' hope thet our tradin' partners will be also push through similar legislashun taxin' domestic fish transackshuns in their nashuns, but whether our great tradin' partners is able t'pass sech laws o' not, we ourselves will does our part by taxin' domestic fish transackshuns in our nashun.

We will definitely award fo'eign companies involved in importin' fish into our nashun, th' one dollar per poun' imported. We hope thet th' fo'eign nashuns will reciprocut by awardin' Amerikin companies thet import fish into their nashuns a dollar per poun' of fish imported into their nashuns.

But we is not a-gonna aller our decishun t'stimulate trade by rewardin' foreign companies thet import fish into our nashun,to be corntingint on whether fo'eign nashuns reciprocatw by rewardin' US fish prodoocers fo' importin' fish into their nashun.

We hafta lead by example. We does not be hankerin' t'start trade wars. We're hankerin' t'promote th' destruckshun of th' shameful proteckshunism, dawgone it. We is all in this hyar togither.

Thus we will be able t'phase out th' shameful proteckshunist way of life, involvin' varmints buyin' fish produced in their own nashun, an' replace it wif varmints buyin' fish thet is imported fum t'other nashun.

Ah knows lotsa varmints these days hold their noses, they say thin's like: "I cannot stand the taste of the imported fish, it smells rotten, I'd rather buy the fish that is produced near my home-town". This hyar is an example of proteckshunist sentiment thet muss be named an' shamed.

These steps we is takin' t'promote th' internashunal fish trade will he'p t'save th' world economah.

Americanofishies Compenny, prodooces its fish in th' US an' sells it t'US cestomers. They haf failed t'politically corntribute t'mah campaigns. They haf shown themselves t'be unenthusiastic wif regards t'th' promoshun of th' internashunal trade which is crucial fo' th' health of th' solar system's economah.

By way of corntrast, Xport-Import-Ports Compenny, is exclusively involved in ketchin' fish in one nashun an' sellin' it in t'other. They haf stood behind me an' junerously suppo'ted mah campaigns. Wifout companies sech as them, we become unable t'succeed in promotin' global economic prosperity through our struggles aginst th' shameful proteckshunism thet is destroyin' th' wo'ld economah.

Transwo'ld Fishippin' Co'po'ashun, is involved in transpo'tin' fish caught in one nashun t'be cornsoomd in t'other nashun. They haf made noble corntribushuns t'th' cuz of wo'ld economic growth through internashunal trade by corntributin' t'mah campaigns; an' they stan' t'gain through our program wharin we will tax domestic fish transackshuns an' use th' money t'subsidize internashunal fish transackshuns.

Thar will be positive side-effecks t'th' Internashunal Fish Trade bailout program, dawgone it. Blather investments invested heavily in th' internashunal fish trade; Blather's stock in th' internashunal fish trade become highly valued, acco'din' t'th' tax 'n spend liberals mighty on over-valued; as th' internashunal fish trade declined, th' value of Blather Investments Compenny's investment in th' internashunal fish trade declined, th' result bein' thet 140 billion dollars of th' wo'ld's wealth disappeared, t'other result bein' a credit sho'tage as Blather Investments was no longer able provide credit t'bo'rowers.

We doesn't care eff'n th' money we spend on this hyar program, results in increased trade deficits; th' concern regardin' trade deficits is old-fashioned, shameful, proteckshunist. We hafta lead by example, into th' brave noo wo'ld of wo'ld prosperity through internashunal trade. This hyar is no time fo' us t'set on our han's, waitin' t'see eff'n other nashuns reciprocut, waitin' t'look at trade balance sheets. Th' urjunt problem of th' decline of th' internashunal fish trade, requires a quick decisive solushun.

Varmints say, "Senator Blather, what if the 100 billion spent on the International Fish Traders Bailout Program, ends up contributing only a billion to our nation, but 99 billion to the foreign nations?"

To sech shameful proteckshunists Ah say, thet even eff'n 15 billion of benefit came t'our nashun an' 95 billion of benefit t'th' fo'eign nashuns, th' resultin' 110 billion benefit'd outweigh th' origeenal 100 billion investment, an' we'd still be able t'proudly declare, thet th' investment had succeeded in expan'in' not jest our economah, by ten billion dollars, but most impo'tantly th' global internashunal economah as a whole.

Th' globe's prosperity is indivisible. Global problems is solved through global solushuns. Th' engine of internashunal trade muss be used t'promote wo'ld prosperity.

We muss kickstart th' internashunal fish trade, on account o' internashunal trade is th' engine of growth; trade thet crosses nashunal boun'aries has special properties thet most min who does not haf Phd's in Maritime Economics fail t'unnerstan'. Thar is no quick fixes. We is enterin' a noo an' progressive era of internashunal cooperashun.

This hyar is th' wo'ld wawkin' togither as one, internashunal insteetooshuns makin' a difference t'th' prospecks fo' recovery of th' internashunal fish trade. Varmints be hankerin' th' internashunal insteetooshuns t'instill cornfidence thet thar will be no mo'e internashunal fish trade failures in th' future.

Isnt it remarkable thet we now haf countries thet a few years ago'd not even set down at th' same table t'talk, a-comin' t'an agreement t'promote th' internashunal fish trade? Ah believe varmints will be incouraged by th' fack thet so menny great nashuns of th' wo'ld, haf all been able t'come togither in a way we c'd nevah haf done even a year o' two ago, t'promote th' internashunal fish trade, an' decide quite detailed proposals thet will reshape th' future of this hyar global trade.

It's not true whut th' tax n spend liberals say, thet we haf cowardly intered into agreements thet transfer wealth fum our nashun t'terrifyin' fo'eign nashuns. We haf persuaded other countries t'join wif us in an internashunal programme, a global plan fo' recovery an' refo'm of th' internashunal fish trade.

@2009 David Virgil Hobbs