Senator Blather explains how bailouts of bad mortgages have been a great success
Transcript of Q & A Interview With Senator Blather
Published: March 31, 2009
Following is a transcript of an interview by Schlemuel Blather and Obuntu Blather of The New Dork Times with Senator Billy Jo Blather, conducted on Monday at his office on Capitol Hill. A few of the questions have been edited for brevity and clarity, and extraneous material omitted.
Q: Senator Blather, people are wondering why the new Blather Economic Recovery Program branch of the federal government, recently gave a 350 billion dollar bailout to Blather Investments Company.
A: Senator Billy Jo Blather:
Thar was a problem wif one million of th' houses thet Blather Investments compenny bought fum Blather House Construckshun Compenny fo' 300,000 dollars etch, fo' a total of 300 billion dollars.
Blather Investments allowed cestomers t'live in th' one million houses it bought fum Blather Home Construckshun Compenny while grajoolly payin' th' cost of th' house they lived in t'Blather Investments, up until th' point whar they owned th' house they lived in.
Q: Sounds like Blather Investments took a big risk because it had a heart for Americans and wanted to help them to achieve the American dream of home ownership.
A: Senator Blather:
Thet's right. But t'git back t'th' point:
Th' problem is, thet these cestomers in these problem houses, only paid Blather Investments 100 billion on th' houses thet were wo'th 300 billion, c'd not keep up th' payments, an' Blather Investments had t'kick them out.
At th' same time as th' economah declined, th' value of th' one million houses declined fum 300 billion t'150 billion.
This hyar created a nashunal crisis on account o' as a result of th' economic revahsals, Blather Investments no longer had inough money t'buy houses an' then let cestomers live in them while grajoolly buyin' th' house fum Blather Investments through monthly payments.
Th' effeck on th' nashunal economah was sumpin like money vanishin' into a black hole in space. Sumpin had t'be done an' done quickly wifout excessive delay an' deliberashun.
Q: Senator Blather, we all deeply admire and appreciate your kind involvement in courageously taking the risks required in order to help American families to have a chance to live in houses while gradually buying the houses from Blather Investments Company through monthly payments.
A: Senator Blather:
It is true thet as a Christian juntleman, Ah seek t'lead a horspitable Christian life.
Ennyway, gittin' back t'th' issue at han', Blather Investments Compenny was stuck wif th' houses thet it bought fum Blather House Construckshun fo' 300 billion dollars, which were now wo'th only 150 billion dollars, an' Blather Investments c'd colleck only 100 billion dollars fum th' cestomers who c'd not keep up th' payments.
As a result a nashunal crisis developed wharin Blather Investments Compenny was not able t'sarve th' American public by buyin' houses fo' them, lettin' them stay in th' houses an' grajoolly buy th' houses through monthly payments.
An' so th' govment through mah intervenshun, gave a 350 billion dollar bailout t'Blather Investments Compenny, so as t'resto'e liquidity t'th' mo'tgage securities market, so we c'd git back t'th' fine old days when Blather Investments Compenny was able t'buy houses, an' allow American moms an' Paws an' kids t'live in th' houses while grajoolly buyin' th' houses fum Blather Investments Compenny.
Th' 350 billion bailout included 150 billion fo' th' loss in value of th' million homes, plus 200 billion fo' 200 billion th' cestomers owed on th' houses but did not pay befo'e they were evicked.
Q: Blather Investments Company being back in the ball game when it comes to being able to give Americans equal opportunity for home ownership, is apparently, good news for America.
A: Senator Blather:
Co'reck. Blather Investments Compenny now feels reassured thet when Blather Investments Compenny repeats th' process an' buys another million houses fum Blather Home Construckshun Compenny, when th' cestomers is agin unable t'keep up th' payments, th' govment will step in agin t'bail out Blather Investments Compenny. An' so Blather Investments Compenny feels inclined t'repeat th' process, fine news fo' th' American dream of home ownyship.
Q: Looking at Blather Investments Company and Blather Home Construction Company put together, they started out with 300 billion dollars. But after all was said and done, after the bailout they ended up with 700 billion. Looks like the Blather Companies got properly rewarded for taking the dangerous risks that have to be taken if Americans are to be given the opportunity of home ownership.
A: Senator Blather:
Th' reward was not pow'ful good 'nuff t'compenate th' juntlemen at th' Blather companies fo' all they went through due t'th' crisis, but yer basically co'reck.
It's a risky business, tryin' t'brin' th' oppo'tunity fo' home ownyship t'pitiable persecuted groups sech as th' negroes, th' homosexuals, an' th' chosen varmints, th' Jews who is dexcendants of th' Jews who rejecked Jesus Christ.
Q: Can you explain to us how the Blather companies showed that they have not just heart but also great minds, by turning the 300 billion they started out with into 750 billion, despite the financial downturn that inflicted such undeserved hard luck on the Blather companies?
A: Senator Blather:
Of th' 300 billion paid t'Blather Home Construckshun by Blather Investments fo' th' one million houses, Blather Home Construckshun kepp 50 billion as profits, paid out 50 billion in wages an' expenses t'subsidiaries of Blather compenny, an' paid out 200 billion t'folks outside th' Blather o'ganizashun, fo' makin' th' homes. Th' folks outside th' Blather o'ganizashun then corntributed 50 billion dollars t'th' Blather o'ganizashun. Th' liberals called this hyar a quote kickback unquote, but we call it loyalty t'th' Blather o'ganizashun.
Thet's 50 billion fo' Blather Home Construckshun, an' 50 billion fo' th' Blather subsidiaries, an' 50 billion in contribushuns.
Plus th' one million houses thet started out valued at 300 thousan' etch but haf fallen in value t'150 thousan' etch, thet is now owned by Blather Investments, thet is t'other 150 billion.
Plus thar is th' 100 billion we took in through th' payments made t'us by th' cestomers who eventually got evicked on account o' they c'd not keep up wif th' payments.
Plus thar is th' 350 billion bailout fum th' US govment's Blather Economic Recovery Program, dawgone it.
So th' assets of Blather Investment Compenny an' Blather House Construckshun Compenny togither is now 50 + 50 + 50 + 150 + 100 + 350 = 750 billion, wharas befo'e th' problems an' th' bailouts th' assets were only 300 billion.
This hyar is not countin' th' fack thet menny hard wawkin' folks outside of th' Blather fambly, took in 200 billion thet was paid out t'build th' houses. These hard-wawkin' folks were paid fine, is gittin' use t'doin' business wif th' Blather companies an' kin be counted on t'suppo't us in th' future.
Q: The Blather companies got a little less than they deserved for the risks that they courageously took upon themselves in order to be able to bring Americans the opportunity to live in houses while gradually buying them through monthly payments.
A: Senator Blather:
Right y'are. An' whut is even better, th' Blather companies kin now repeat th' process thanks t'th' bailout fum th' US govment's Blather Economic Recovery Program.
Varmints who complain about th' economic decline in America sho't-sightedly fail t'unnerstan' thet th' decline has led t'wonnerful thin's happenin' sech as th' bailoutta th' Blather investment companies. They fail t'unnerstan' thet corntinued decline will lead t'more sech wonnerful bailout type happenin's.
Q: Senator Blather, why is it that the Blather Investment Company received a bailout, but several other companies who encountered similar problems did not?
A: Senator Blather:
Th' companies thet did not receive bailouts, had a histo'y of politically opposin' me. They had t'be punished so as t'larn them a lesson, so thet in th' future, they will larn t'gimme th' political suppo't thet Ah need.
Q: it seems like an absurd idea, that companies that have opposed you in the past, should get bailouts from the US government's Blather Economic Recovery Program, which would not exist were it not for your hard work.
A: Senator Blather:
Exackly. Whut in tarnation yo' say seems t'be an absurdity, is indeed an absurdity.
@2009 David Virgil Hobbs
Published: March 31, 2009
Following is a transcript of an interview by Schlemuel Blather and Obuntu Blather of The New Dork Times with Senator Billy Jo Blather, conducted on Monday at his office on Capitol Hill. A few of the questions have been edited for brevity and clarity, and extraneous material omitted.
Q: Senator Blather, people are wondering why the new Blather Economic Recovery Program branch of the federal government, recently gave a 350 billion dollar bailout to Blather Investments Company.
A: Senator Billy Jo Blather:
Thar was a problem wif one million of th' houses thet Blather Investments compenny bought fum Blather House Construckshun Compenny fo' 300,000 dollars etch, fo' a total of 300 billion dollars.
Blather Investments allowed cestomers t'live in th' one million houses it bought fum Blather Home Construckshun Compenny while grajoolly payin' th' cost of th' house they lived in t'Blather Investments, up until th' point whar they owned th' house they lived in.
Q: Sounds like Blather Investments took a big risk because it had a heart for Americans and wanted to help them to achieve the American dream of home ownership.
A: Senator Blather:
Thet's right. But t'git back t'th' point:
Th' problem is, thet these cestomers in these problem houses, only paid Blather Investments 100 billion on th' houses thet were wo'th 300 billion, c'd not keep up th' payments, an' Blather Investments had t'kick them out.
At th' same time as th' economah declined, th' value of th' one million houses declined fum 300 billion t'150 billion.
This hyar created a nashunal crisis on account o' as a result of th' economic revahsals, Blather Investments no longer had inough money t'buy houses an' then let cestomers live in them while grajoolly buyin' th' house fum Blather Investments through monthly payments.
Th' effeck on th' nashunal economah was sumpin like money vanishin' into a black hole in space. Sumpin had t'be done an' done quickly wifout excessive delay an' deliberashun.
Q: Senator Blather, we all deeply admire and appreciate your kind involvement in courageously taking the risks required in order to help American families to have a chance to live in houses while gradually buying the houses from Blather Investments Company through monthly payments.
A: Senator Blather:
It is true thet as a Christian juntleman, Ah seek t'lead a horspitable Christian life.
Ennyway, gittin' back t'th' issue at han', Blather Investments Compenny was stuck wif th' houses thet it bought fum Blather House Construckshun fo' 300 billion dollars, which were now wo'th only 150 billion dollars, an' Blather Investments c'd colleck only 100 billion dollars fum th' cestomers who c'd not keep up th' payments.
As a result a nashunal crisis developed wharin Blather Investments Compenny was not able t'sarve th' American public by buyin' houses fo' them, lettin' them stay in th' houses an' grajoolly buy th' houses through monthly payments.
An' so th' govment through mah intervenshun, gave a 350 billion dollar bailout t'Blather Investments Compenny, so as t'resto'e liquidity t'th' mo'tgage securities market, so we c'd git back t'th' fine old days when Blather Investments Compenny was able t'buy houses, an' allow American moms an' Paws an' kids t'live in th' houses while grajoolly buyin' th' houses fum Blather Investments Compenny.
Th' 350 billion bailout included 150 billion fo' th' loss in value of th' million homes, plus 200 billion fo' 200 billion th' cestomers owed on th' houses but did not pay befo'e they were evicked.
Q: Blather Investments Company being back in the ball game when it comes to being able to give Americans equal opportunity for home ownership, is apparently, good news for America.
A: Senator Blather:
Co'reck. Blather Investments Compenny now feels reassured thet when Blather Investments Compenny repeats th' process an' buys another million houses fum Blather Home Construckshun Compenny, when th' cestomers is agin unable t'keep up th' payments, th' govment will step in agin t'bail out Blather Investments Compenny. An' so Blather Investments Compenny feels inclined t'repeat th' process, fine news fo' th' American dream of home ownyship.
Q: Looking at Blather Investments Company and Blather Home Construction Company put together, they started out with 300 billion dollars. But after all was said and done, after the bailout they ended up with 700 billion. Looks like the Blather Companies got properly rewarded for taking the dangerous risks that have to be taken if Americans are to be given the opportunity of home ownership.
A: Senator Blather:
Th' reward was not pow'ful good 'nuff t'compenate th' juntlemen at th' Blather companies fo' all they went through due t'th' crisis, but yer basically co'reck.
It's a risky business, tryin' t'brin' th' oppo'tunity fo' home ownyship t'pitiable persecuted groups sech as th' negroes, th' homosexuals, an' th' chosen varmints, th' Jews who is dexcendants of th' Jews who rejecked Jesus Christ.
Q: Can you explain to us how the Blather companies showed that they have not just heart but also great minds, by turning the 300 billion they started out with into 750 billion, despite the financial downturn that inflicted such undeserved hard luck on the Blather companies?
A: Senator Blather:
Of th' 300 billion paid t'Blather Home Construckshun by Blather Investments fo' th' one million houses, Blather Home Construckshun kepp 50 billion as profits, paid out 50 billion in wages an' expenses t'subsidiaries of Blather compenny, an' paid out 200 billion t'folks outside th' Blather o'ganizashun, fo' makin' th' homes. Th' folks outside th' Blather o'ganizashun then corntributed 50 billion dollars t'th' Blather o'ganizashun. Th' liberals called this hyar a quote kickback unquote, but we call it loyalty t'th' Blather o'ganizashun.
Thet's 50 billion fo' Blather Home Construckshun, an' 50 billion fo' th' Blather subsidiaries, an' 50 billion in contribushuns.
Plus th' one million houses thet started out valued at 300 thousan' etch but haf fallen in value t'150 thousan' etch, thet is now owned by Blather Investments, thet is t'other 150 billion.
Plus thar is th' 100 billion we took in through th' payments made t'us by th' cestomers who eventually got evicked on account o' they c'd not keep up wif th' payments.
Plus thar is th' 350 billion bailout fum th' US govment's Blather Economic Recovery Program, dawgone it.
So th' assets of Blather Investment Compenny an' Blather House Construckshun Compenny togither is now 50 + 50 + 50 + 150 + 100 + 350 = 750 billion, wharas befo'e th' problems an' th' bailouts th' assets were only 300 billion.
This hyar is not countin' th' fack thet menny hard wawkin' folks outside of th' Blather fambly, took in 200 billion thet was paid out t'build th' houses. These hard-wawkin' folks were paid fine, is gittin' use t'doin' business wif th' Blather companies an' kin be counted on t'suppo't us in th' future.
Q: The Blather companies got a little less than they deserved for the risks that they courageously took upon themselves in order to be able to bring Americans the opportunity to live in houses while gradually buying them through monthly payments.
A: Senator Blather:
Right y'are. An' whut is even better, th' Blather companies kin now repeat th' process thanks t'th' bailout fum th' US govment's Blather Economic Recovery Program.
Varmints who complain about th' economic decline in America sho't-sightedly fail t'unnerstan' thet th' decline has led t'wonnerful thin's happenin' sech as th' bailoutta th' Blather investment companies. They fail t'unnerstan' thet corntinued decline will lead t'more sech wonnerful bailout type happenin's.
Q: Senator Blather, why is it that the Blather Investment Company received a bailout, but several other companies who encountered similar problems did not?
A: Senator Blather:
Th' companies thet did not receive bailouts, had a histo'y of politically opposin' me. They had t'be punished so as t'larn them a lesson, so thet in th' future, they will larn t'gimme th' political suppo't thet Ah need.
Q: it seems like an absurd idea, that companies that have opposed you in the past, should get bailouts from the US government's Blather Economic Recovery Program, which would not exist were it not for your hard work.
A: Senator Blather:
Exackly. Whut in tarnation yo' say seems t'be an absurdity, is indeed an absurdity.
@2009 David Virgil Hobbs
Labels: bailout mortgages, blather, hard-to-sell, mortgage-backed-securities, senator, toxic
posted by David Virgil at 4:38 AM
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