Senator Blather Defends 'Blather US Export Customers Bailout Program'
HIQ Transcripts Wire
Thursday, April 2, 2009; 11:11 PM
SPEAKER: SENATOR BILLY JO BLATHER
BLATHER: Ah's pleased t'take this hyar oppo'tunity t'promote mah 'Blather US Expo't Customers Bailout Program', which Ah's now rammin' through th' senate. Th' program will be funded in th' usualy economically stimulatin' ways, through tax-cuts, taxes, printin' up noo money, bo'rowin' fum citizens an' fo'eigners.
Th' Blather US Expo't Customers Bailout Program' will feature an internashunal lottery in which varmints chosen at random bah Dieboldtz, will be given money provided t'them by th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Administrashun. One million varmints chosen at random will be given one million dollars etch. Ev'ry varmint in th' wo'ld no matter whut nashun they live in, will autymatically haf an equal chance chance t'be one of th' lottery winners.
Th' one trillion dollars spread throughout th' wo'ld, will result in th' sho't-term, in ten billion dollars in increased sales fo' thet leadin' US expo'ter Lionerpillar, makers of all kinds of vehicles used by all kinds of folks. This hyar is on account o' Lionerpillar's foreign cestomers will, thanks t'th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Program, haf more t'spend buyin' producks made by Lionerpillar.
Lionerpillar will be able t'use th' increased profits t'finance outsourcin' of 100,000 Amerikin jobs t'areas whar th' labo' fo'ce is paid ten cents an hour. This hyar reduckshun in labo' costs will stimulate wo'ld economic growth, an' might even result in a future Einstein in some African village, who saves th' wo'ld, havin' th' chance t'buy a crucial textbook he might otherwise be unable t'buy.
Af'er Lionerpillar is able t'outsource th' 100,000 jobs, th' noo foreign employees of Lionerpillar will provide an impo'tant source of sales fo' Lionerpillar as they buy producks made by Lionerpillar.
In th' sho't-term th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Program, will seem t'be harmful t'th' US nashunal interests, but in th' long term, Lionerpillar's sales will increase by 20 billion, compared t'th' sho't- term increase of sales of only 10 billion.
Th' US economah kinnot prosper, wifout exporters like Lionerpillar. Exporters like Lionerpillar brin' money into th' country.
Th' money derived fum th' fo'eign sales goes t'hard wawkin' Amerikins who suppo't th' Blather cauz on account o' they knows thet enny man who is tough wif th' pore lazy as a houn'dog folks th' way Senato' Blather is, muss also be a great patriot who will keep G20 at a superpower status, 'cause it's guns or butter.
Mah dearly beloved gran'-dotter does not haf enny secret service proteckshun. As a righteous cornservative christian, Ah have t'be corncerned fo' her security. Th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Program, will increase th' level of safety fo' gals like her, on account o' th' varmints of th' wo'ld will be less angry af'er gittin' money fum th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Administrashun.
Th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Program will prodooce wonnerful results fo' th' wo'ld.
As a result of th' program: G20's total grost domestic produck will increase; th' wo'ld will be brought closer togither; th' wo'ld's economah will be improved; th' costs of goods will decline; an' Europe, Japan, China an' India will be economic powerhouses puttin' billions of Europeans, Japanese, Chinese, an' Indians t'wawk, pullin' themselves outta povahty, so thet they may eventually be able t'buy tracktor type lawn mowers fum Lionerpillar, our great US based exporter.
Archaelogy has shown us thet back in th' stone-age, thar was an impo'tant tribe which injoyed huge trade surpluses, huge budgit surpluses. This hyar tribe, which scientists haf named th' Stoneball tribe, economically damaged itse'f by increasin' its level of trade proteckshunism, dawgone it.
Th' lesson fo' us today is clear: eff'n stone-age societies injoyin' huge surpluses damaged themselves by increasin' proteckshunism, then sho'ly today in th' modern era, th' US which is sufferin' fum huge trade an' budgit deficits, damages itse'f even mo'e by reso'tin' t'proteckshunism.
Th' brilliant Docko' Easterneuropinsky, who has studied th' tribe in detail, has revealed t'me thet th' fack thet th' tribe was both prosperous an' proteckshunist is mere coincidence.
@2009 David Virgil Hobbs
Thursday, April 2, 2009; 11:11 PM
SPEAKER: SENATOR BILLY JO BLATHER
BLATHER: Ah's pleased t'take this hyar oppo'tunity t'promote mah 'Blather US Expo't Customers Bailout Program', which Ah's now rammin' through th' senate. Th' program will be funded in th' usualy economically stimulatin' ways, through tax-cuts, taxes, printin' up noo money, bo'rowin' fum citizens an' fo'eigners.
Th' Blather US Expo't Customers Bailout Program' will feature an internashunal lottery in which varmints chosen at random bah Dieboldtz, will be given money provided t'them by th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Administrashun. One million varmints chosen at random will be given one million dollars etch. Ev'ry varmint in th' wo'ld no matter whut nashun they live in, will autymatically haf an equal chance chance t'be one of th' lottery winners.
Th' one trillion dollars spread throughout th' wo'ld, will result in th' sho't-term, in ten billion dollars in increased sales fo' thet leadin' US expo'ter Lionerpillar, makers of all kinds of vehicles used by all kinds of folks. This hyar is on account o' Lionerpillar's foreign cestomers will, thanks t'th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Program, haf more t'spend buyin' producks made by Lionerpillar.
Lionerpillar will be able t'use th' increased profits t'finance outsourcin' of 100,000 Amerikin jobs t'areas whar th' labo' fo'ce is paid ten cents an hour. This hyar reduckshun in labo' costs will stimulate wo'ld economic growth, an' might even result in a future Einstein in some African village, who saves th' wo'ld, havin' th' chance t'buy a crucial textbook he might otherwise be unable t'buy.
Af'er Lionerpillar is able t'outsource th' 100,000 jobs, th' noo foreign employees of Lionerpillar will provide an impo'tant source of sales fo' Lionerpillar as they buy producks made by Lionerpillar.
In th' sho't-term th' US Expo't Customers Bailout Program, will seem t'be harmful t'th' US nashunal interests, but in th' long term, Lionerpillar's sales will increase by 20 billion, compared t'th' sho't- term increase of sales of only 10 billion.
Th' US economah kinnot prosper, wifout exporters like Lionerpillar. Exporters like Lionerpillar brin' money into th' country.
Th' money derived fum th' fo'eign sales goes t'hard wawkin' Amerikins who suppo't th' Blather cauz on account o' they knows thet enny man who is tough wif th' pore lazy as a houn'dog folks th' way Senato' Blather is, muss also be a great patriot who will keep G20 at a superpower status, 'cause it's guns or butter.
Mah dearly beloved gran'-dotter does not haf enny secret service proteckshun. As a righteous cornservative christian, Ah have t'be corncerned fo' her security. Th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Program, will increase th' level of safety fo' gals like her, on account o' th' varmints of th' wo'ld will be less angry af'er gittin' money fum th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Administrashun.
Th' Blather US Expo't Customer Bailout Program will prodooce wonnerful results fo' th' wo'ld.
As a result of th' program: G20's total grost domestic produck will increase; th' wo'ld will be brought closer togither; th' wo'ld's economah will be improved; th' costs of goods will decline; an' Europe, Japan, China an' India will be economic powerhouses puttin' billions of Europeans, Japanese, Chinese, an' Indians t'wawk, pullin' themselves outta povahty, so thet they may eventually be able t'buy tracktor type lawn mowers fum Lionerpillar, our great US based exporter.
Archaelogy has shown us thet back in th' stone-age, thar was an impo'tant tribe which injoyed huge trade surpluses, huge budgit surpluses. This hyar tribe, which scientists haf named th' Stoneball tribe, economically damaged itse'f by increasin' its level of trade proteckshunism, dawgone it.
Th' lesson fo' us today is clear: eff'n stone-age societies injoyin' huge surpluses damaged themselves by increasin' proteckshunism, then sho'ly today in th' modern era, th' US which is sufferin' fum huge trade an' budgit deficits, damages itse'f even mo'e by reso'tin' t'proteckshunism.
Th' brilliant Docko' Easterneuropinsky, who has studied th' tribe in detail, has revealed t'me thet th' fack thet th' tribe was both prosperous an' proteckshunist is mere coincidence.
@2009 David Virgil Hobbs
Labels: budget, deficit, economy, g-20, protectionism, trade
posted by David Virgil at 10:53 PM
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