Omar Tabbakh Th' Mohametan cook poem

Omar Tabbakh Th' Mohametan cook 

By Mudyard Stripling (ultra-important redneck poet)

Omar Tabbakh th' Mohametan cook,  
Has charm an' value, right, a graci,              
Qualities of personality,
Wich 'e 'ad befo'e 'is eyes 'ad seen  
Enny of th' 'ole Mohametan books  

Omar's ancesto's fum th' time  
Befo'e 'is ancestral line  
Larned o' Mohamet's prophecies
Also 'ad Omar's right good qualities,
Gif's given ter them by 'eaven celesti

Mohamet were not th' bloomin' one  
'Oo gave them these respecked presents  
They received th' gif's fum th' God 'oo favvered              
Th' Christianum et Mohametan men o' th' wo'ld  

Its not as eff', right, ev'ry attrackive qualitas of Omar's,
Was given t'him by Mohamet- they were given 'im by God  

Th' purpose of skoo-marms of religion,        
Is t'he'p virtues thet were in th' bloomin' students
Befo'e they 'eard o' th' religionis skoo matron
To shine mo'e brightly than befo'e
An' t'he'p noo virtues t'grow in their souls
Et crescere in virtutibus animae auxilium