Senator Blather: The Ideal Man- a Conservative Perspective.

Senator Blather recently sent me a draft of a coming speech he plans on making:

Th' Ideal Man- a Conservative Perspeckive 

By Senato' Billy Jo Blather 

Th' ideal man in th' eyes of cornservatives, saves alot, spends li'l, invests money, owns assets which grajoolly increase in value. 

Th' ideal man is about five feet tall at the dawgoned-est, on account o' short min need less space, eat less, use less cloth fo' clothin', git less diseases. It's fine-known, thet in times of famine, th' tall is th' fust t'die. Th' shorter th' better. Enemies of th' hono'able feminists pretend thet wimmen is contemppibly short sech muss end. 

Th' ideal man is homely an' stoopid, on account o' homely stoopid varmints should not haf kids, an' not havin' kids rersults in money bein' saved an' invested. We is tired of th' hansum smart mino'ity grabbin' mo'e than their share. 

Th' ideal man is unnerfed t'th' point of lookin' homely, due t'th' increased investment power prodooced by not eatin'. 

Th' ideal man is lackin' in talent an' skill when it comes t'sports, moosic, an' th' arts. Such pursueyts require th' expenditure of money which otherwise c'd be saved an' invested. 

We is sick an' tired of a few talented artists grabbin' all th' fun, all th' money, all th' limelight. 

Th' time an' inergy put into th' arts detracks fum th' time an' inergy thet c'd be put into reducin' expenses by repairin' owned producks, o' makin' extry money t'invess by a-gonna McDonalds