'Atlas Shrugged' faces competition from Sen Blather
Memo - from Senator Billy Jo Blather
To - Davey Hobbs
Subject: My new Book that will Outshine 'Atlas Shrugged'
Ah have been gittin' sick of all this hyar attenshun bein' paid by members of mah political party, t'Atlas Shrugged, th' book by Ayn Ran'. It has become their Bible. Tharfo'e Ah have started wawkin' on a book of mah own, which will replace 'Atlas Shrugged'. Ah thunk I'd send mah fust ideas t'yo' fo' review. As of now, mah outline fo' th' book, (whose title as of now is 'Odin Mugged') is:
Ole Man Frankie D'anaconda, af'er wawkin' 21 hours a day seven days a week fo' 32 years, experimentin' an' studyin' th' problem, figgers out thet eff'n he has sex wif his pet cow, on th' night of a full moon, af'er cornsumin' 5 'Manhattan' cocktails, th' cow will prodooce milk thet af'er sittin' in a pail fo' 5 hours, turns into a super glue thet is 20 times as pow'ful as th' leadin' glue, an' thet costs only a tenth of whut th' leadin' glue costs.
Ole Man Frankie has blue eyes, chiseled features, an' light-brown hair. His pet cow has gray eyes, chiseled features, an' yellow hair. Ole Man Frankie has no feelin' fo' ennythin' on earth, 'cept he has deep feelin's fo' his pet cow. Ole Man Frankie's method of producin' th' superglue by havin' sex wif his cow, does not wawk eff'n th' cow is artifically inseminated. Ole Man Frankie's atheism an' his corntempp fo' religious ethics, is whut makes th' produckshun of th' superglue by way of sex wif th' houn'dog postible.
Thousan's of wo'ds will be devoted t'his deep feelin's fo' his pet cow, his pet cow's deep feelin's fo' him, an' especially his pet cow's facial expresshuns as th' pet cow relates t'Ole Man Frankie. Also t'other few thousan' kin be spent dexcribin' th' weather, th' sky, th' lan', an' Ole Man Frankie's clo'es while he invents, prodooces an' defends th' superglue.
Problem is thet Patrick Roosevelt, th' regional bost of th' Food an' Drug Administrashun, does not like Ole Man Frankie's noo invenshun. Patrick Roosevelt has a pudgy fat face an' brown eyes an' black hair. Patrick is wo'ried on account o' th' economah of Biafra in Africa, depends upon th' glue thet th' US imports fum Biafra, an' th' noo glue created by Ole Man Frankie D'anaconda will displace th' Biafran glue, tharby ruinin' Biafra's economah, which Patrick Roosevelt be hankerin' t'promote on account o' Roosevelt believes in bein' ethical an' is a Christian, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Roosevelt's chareecker an' behaviour, combines: ev'rythin' thet tycoons despise, ev'rythin' thet varmints in general despise, an ino'dinate obsesshun wif th' we'fare of fo'eigners, all rolled togither wif an ethical christian perspeckive on life (thus rennerin' christianity an' ethical cornduck repulsive). Roosevelt also personifies th' concern fo' proteckin' incomes an' promotin' equality thet interferes wif nashunal economic development.
Hope t'hear fum yo' soon re yer ideas regardin' th' development of this hyar book. Shet mah mouth!
To - Davey Hobbs
Subject: My new Book that will Outshine 'Atlas Shrugged'
Ah have been gittin' sick of all this hyar attenshun bein' paid by members of mah political party, t'Atlas Shrugged, th' book by Ayn Ran'. It has become their Bible. Tharfo'e Ah have started wawkin' on a book of mah own, which will replace 'Atlas Shrugged'. Ah thunk I'd send mah fust ideas t'yo' fo' review. As of now, mah outline fo' th' book, (whose title as of now is 'Odin Mugged') is:
Ole Man Frankie D'anaconda, af'er wawkin' 21 hours a day seven days a week fo' 32 years, experimentin' an' studyin' th' problem, figgers out thet eff'n he has sex wif his pet cow, on th' night of a full moon, af'er cornsumin' 5 'Manhattan' cocktails, th' cow will prodooce milk thet af'er sittin' in a pail fo' 5 hours, turns into a super glue thet is 20 times as pow'ful as th' leadin' glue, an' thet costs only a tenth of whut th' leadin' glue costs.
Ole Man Frankie has blue eyes, chiseled features, an' light-brown hair. His pet cow has gray eyes, chiseled features, an' yellow hair. Ole Man Frankie has no feelin' fo' ennythin' on earth, 'cept he has deep feelin's fo' his pet cow. Ole Man Frankie's method of producin' th' superglue by havin' sex wif his cow, does not wawk eff'n th' cow is artifically inseminated. Ole Man Frankie's atheism an' his corntempp fo' religious ethics, is whut makes th' produckshun of th' superglue by way of sex wif th' houn'dog postible.
Thousan's of wo'ds will be devoted t'his deep feelin's fo' his pet cow, his pet cow's deep feelin's fo' him, an' especially his pet cow's facial expresshuns as th' pet cow relates t'Ole Man Frankie. Also t'other few thousan' kin be spent dexcribin' th' weather, th' sky, th' lan', an' Ole Man Frankie's clo'es while he invents, prodooces an' defends th' superglue.
Problem is thet Patrick Roosevelt, th' regional bost of th' Food an' Drug Administrashun, does not like Ole Man Frankie's noo invenshun. Patrick Roosevelt has a pudgy fat face an' brown eyes an' black hair. Patrick is wo'ried on account o' th' economah of Biafra in Africa, depends upon th' glue thet th' US imports fum Biafra, an' th' noo glue created by Ole Man Frankie D'anaconda will displace th' Biafran glue, tharby ruinin' Biafra's economah, which Patrick Roosevelt be hankerin' t'promote on account o' Roosevelt believes in bein' ethical an' is a Christian, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Roosevelt's chareecker an' behaviour, combines: ev'rythin' thet tycoons despise, ev'rythin' thet varmints in general despise, an ino'dinate obsesshun wif th' we'fare of fo'eigners, all rolled togither wif an ethical christian perspeckive on life (thus rennerin' christianity an' ethical cornduck repulsive). Roosevelt also personifies th' concern fo' proteckin' incomes an' promotin' equality thet interferes wif nashunal economic development.
Hope t'hear fum yo' soon re yer ideas regardin' th' development of this hyar book. Shet mah mouth!
posted by David Virgil at 9:47 PM
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