Q & A Wif Senato' Billy Joe Jo Blather
We is th' Evolushun Internet Netwawk (EIN). On December 26, 2004, Senato' Blather signed into law th' Selfish Ancesto' Apes Memo'ial Ack, th' nashunÂs fourth evolushun promoshun legislashun. Named in memo'y of apes Senato' Blather cornsiders t'be his ancesto's, th' lan'mark law reckanizes at th' nashunal level thet evolushun is accelerated by public health crises linked t'unnerlyin' pressure prodooced by apishly selfish behavior. Senato' Blather has been an inthusiastic champions of our Evolushun Internet Netwawk (EIN) on account o' dedicatin' a porshun of th' Selfish Ancesto' Apes Memorial Fund to our Evolushun Internet Netwawk (EIN). In addishun, Hilda Kelly Blather recently joined th' EIN Adviso'y Council, Ah reckon.
Sho'tly af'er th' signin' of th' Se'fish Ancesto' Apes Memo'ial Ack, EIN had th' opo'tunity to watch Senato' Blather devastate an interviewer fum our liberal competito' DVH in an interview. Hyar is th' transcripp of th' interview in which Senato' Blather devastates an' completely crushes th' yankee interviewer fum DVH.
DVH
Senator Blather, why do you think that apishly selfish behavior accelerates evolution?
Senato' Blather
Science has proven thet acco'din' t'th' Surivival of th' Fittess theo'y propoun'ed by th' respeckable Charles Darwin, mankind is decended fum th' apes. Observin' th' behavio' of our ancesto's th' apes, we kin see thet a sertin apish selfishness, was th' engine of evolushun thet led t'th' produckshun of hoomin bein's sech as ourselves. Tharfo'e we take pride, in bein' apishly se'fish Amerikins, on account o' through our apish se'fishness, we corntribute t'th' continued evolushun of th' hoomin bein', into a noo type of hoomin bein', thet is superio' t'th' modern hoomin bein', in th' same way thet th' modern hoomin bein' is superio' t'th' apes he is dexcended fum.
DVH
Interesting theory. Who do you think the apes are descended from?
Senato' Blather
Th' apes is dexcended fum their ancesto's th' amoebas.
DVH
If the apes are descended from their ancestors the amoebas, would it not be a mistake for humans to imitate apes, since the apes you say mankind is descended from, did not imitate amoebas. Some would say your theory that men should behave like selfish apes, leads to not evolution, but, on the contrary, to devolution.
Senato' Blather
Ah's not a proponent of devolushun. Ah's a faith-without-warks predestinarian relaxin' brave christian man, as enny fool kin plainly see. Devolushun is obviously a wark of satan, on account o' satan an' th' devil are one an' th' same.
DVH
Senator Blather, scientists understand that most apes do not amount to anything but, are on the contrary, are an evolutionary dead end. Therefore is it not foolish to believe that imitating the typical ape will lead to evolutionary improvements in mankind?
Senato' Blather
Ah's a wise politician, as enny fool kin plainly see. Ah's wisely a dedicated fan of typical varmints. As a matter of fack, th' equal employment oppo'tunity programs Ah have nobly an' wisely suppo'ted, insure thet only typical varmints will be employed, on account o' as a result of these intellyjunt programs Ah have favo'ed, ev'ry employer has become like a hyper-typical imperfect attempp t'mirro' th' public. They attempp t'mirro' th' public wif five varmints hyar, they attempp t'mirro' th' public wif ten varmints thar. But five o' ten varmints kinnot prodooce an accurate mirro' of th' public they prodooce a hyper-typical mirro' of th' public. An' so th' typical is employed an' them who is not typical are excluded, an' th' typical reward me wif campaign corntribushuns an' votes. Thus Ah muss declare, thet yessuh Ah respeck th' typical, Ah reckon.
DVH
But Senator Blather, if more than 50 percent of people are not typical, then the typicalism of the type you advocate especially the hyper-typicalism you take pleasure in are not in fact typicalism.
Senato' Blather
Varmints like yo' say thet cornservatives is liberals, liberals are cornservatives, republicans is democrats, an' democrats are republicans. Ah's a cornservative, not a liberal, Ah reckon. Ah's a republican, not a democrat. Our harsh cruel eliminashun of govment programs thet he'p varmints who is not rich, are republican cornservative accomplishments; they is selishly apish accomplishments thet accelerate evolushun.
DVH
Senator Blather, expert scientists have pointed out, that the dogs and the horses that mankind takes pleasure in, considers to be beautiful, and finds to be useful, are not plucked from wild areas, and are not wild horses and wild dogs. These horses and dogs have been bred in artificial conditions created by man, that have shielded these horses and dogs from natural wild evolutionary pressures. So then how can you assume, that the wild evolutionary pressures unleashed by your apish selfishness, will lead to evolutionary improvements in human beings?
Senato' Blather
Soun's like yer singin' liberal hippie tunes like "wild houn'dogs c'd'nt drag me away" by Mick Jagger an' th' Rollin' Stones. Shame on yo'. Varmints like th' Rollin' Stones are widely known t'be drug addicks.
@2004 David Virgil Hobbs
http://www.angelfire.com/ma/vincemoon
Sho'tly af'er th' signin' of th' Se'fish Ancesto' Apes Memo'ial Ack, EIN had th' opo'tunity to watch Senato' Blather devastate an interviewer fum our liberal competito' DVH in an interview. Hyar is th' transcripp of th' interview in which Senato' Blather devastates an' completely crushes th' yankee interviewer fum DVH.
DVH
Senator Blather, why do you think that apishly selfish behavior accelerates evolution?
Senato' Blather
Science has proven thet acco'din' t'th' Surivival of th' Fittess theo'y propoun'ed by th' respeckable Charles Darwin, mankind is decended fum th' apes. Observin' th' behavio' of our ancesto's th' apes, we kin see thet a sertin apish selfishness, was th' engine of evolushun thet led t'th' produckshun of hoomin bein's sech as ourselves. Tharfo'e we take pride, in bein' apishly se'fish Amerikins, on account o' through our apish se'fishness, we corntribute t'th' continued evolushun of th' hoomin bein', into a noo type of hoomin bein', thet is superio' t'th' modern hoomin bein', in th' same way thet th' modern hoomin bein' is superio' t'th' apes he is dexcended fum.
DVH
Interesting theory. Who do you think the apes are descended from?
Senato' Blather
Th' apes is dexcended fum their ancesto's th' amoebas.
DVH
If the apes are descended from their ancestors the amoebas, would it not be a mistake for humans to imitate apes, since the apes you say mankind is descended from, did not imitate amoebas. Some would say your theory that men should behave like selfish apes, leads to not evolution, but, on the contrary, to devolution.
Senato' Blather
Ah's not a proponent of devolushun. Ah's a faith-without-warks predestinarian relaxin' brave christian man, as enny fool kin plainly see. Devolushun is obviously a wark of satan, on account o' satan an' th' devil are one an' th' same.
DVH
Senator Blather, scientists understand that most apes do not amount to anything but, are on the contrary, are an evolutionary dead end. Therefore is it not foolish to believe that imitating the typical ape will lead to evolutionary improvements in mankind?
Senato' Blather
Ah's a wise politician, as enny fool kin plainly see. Ah's wisely a dedicated fan of typical varmints. As a matter of fack, th' equal employment oppo'tunity programs Ah have nobly an' wisely suppo'ted, insure thet only typical varmints will be employed, on account o' as a result of these intellyjunt programs Ah have favo'ed, ev'ry employer has become like a hyper-typical imperfect attempp t'mirro' th' public. They attempp t'mirro' th' public wif five varmints hyar, they attempp t'mirro' th' public wif ten varmints thar. But five o' ten varmints kinnot prodooce an accurate mirro' of th' public they prodooce a hyper-typical mirro' of th' public. An' so th' typical is employed an' them who is not typical are excluded, an' th' typical reward me wif campaign corntribushuns an' votes. Thus Ah muss declare, thet yessuh Ah respeck th' typical, Ah reckon.
DVH
But Senator Blather, if more than 50 percent of people are not typical, then the typicalism of the type you advocate especially the hyper-typicalism you take pleasure in are not in fact typicalism.
Senato' Blather
Varmints like yo' say thet cornservatives is liberals, liberals are cornservatives, republicans is democrats, an' democrats are republicans. Ah's a cornservative, not a liberal, Ah reckon. Ah's a republican, not a democrat. Our harsh cruel eliminashun of govment programs thet he'p varmints who is not rich, are republican cornservative accomplishments; they is selishly apish accomplishments thet accelerate evolushun.
DVH
Senator Blather, expert scientists have pointed out, that the dogs and the horses that mankind takes pleasure in, considers to be beautiful, and finds to be useful, are not plucked from wild areas, and are not wild horses and wild dogs. These horses and dogs have been bred in artificial conditions created by man, that have shielded these horses and dogs from natural wild evolutionary pressures. So then how can you assume, that the wild evolutionary pressures unleashed by your apish selfishness, will lead to evolutionary improvements in human beings?
Senato' Blather
Soun's like yer singin' liberal hippie tunes like "wild houn'dogs c'd'nt drag me away" by Mick Jagger an' th' Rollin' Stones. Shame on yo'. Varmints like th' Rollin' Stones are widely known t'be drug addicks.
@2004 David Virgil Hobbs
http://www.angelfire.com/ma/vincemoon
posted by David Virgil at 5:20 AM
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