Monday, September 20, 2010

Sen Blather: conspiracy theory should be illegal

For immediate release
September 20, 2010

Contact: Senator Blather's Office
Phone: 666.367.7286

Statement of Senator Billy Jo Blather, U.S. Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Promotion of the Work Ethic, Conspiracy Theory as a Threat to the Hard Working Minority

Link to hearing exhibits [PDF 666 MB]

Link to Permanent Subcommittee on Promotion of the Work Ethic hearing page with list of witnesses and links to witness testimony

Th' brilliant professo' Dr. Hunstein has co'reckly stated, thet th' current president of th' nashun, sh'd be given th' right t'arress them who accuse th' president's friends, of bein' members of criminal groups. Eff'n th' brilliant professo' Hunstein succeeds in his admirable crusade, by law, varmints will be obligated t'state thet th' president's friends is not members of criminal groups. Yet on account o' we believe deeply in th' consteetooshun of th' foun'in' fathers, it will still be OK t'say thet a friend of th' president is a criminal but not a member of a criminal group. On account o' sayin' a friend of th' prez is a crook but not a member of a criminal group, is not cornspiracy theo'y.

Fust off, yo' hafta unnerstan' th' legal definishun of cornspiracy: " an agreement between two o' mo'e varmints t'commit an ack prohibited by law o' t'commit a lawful ack by means prohibited by law".

We is trimenjus big-time players. When we bend th' rules, Ah mean when we does thin's thet varmints say is a bendin' of th' rules, we operate in trimenjus groups. Our groups thet does thin's thet look like bendin' th' rules, is composed of thousan's of members of th' hard-wawkin' mino'ity. Th' hard wawkin' mino'ity has t'band togither in groups, on account o' they is outnumbered by th' lazy as a houn'dog majority. Our trimenjus groups of thousan's of hard-warkin' folks, through whut th' liberals call bendin' th' rules, make millions an' billions of dollars. Our groups is loyal members of th' high-income high-wealth hard-warkin' minority group.

By way of corntrast, th' low-income criminals operate on their own, as indivijools. Their crimes junerate li'l money compared t'th' money junerated by our groups of allegedly rule-bendin' members of th' hard-warkin' mino'ity. They is an example of a lack of th' teamwawk rightly praised by th' admirable hard-wawkin' famous football coach Lou 'Trimenjus-stud' Holez. These indivijool crooks wawkin' by themselves is members of groups thet habitually align themselves wif th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity's attempps t'steal fum th' hard-wawkin' mino'ity.

Thus th' president havin' th' right t'eleckrocute them who claim thet th' president's friends is members of criminal groups, will in th' end prodooce a fine outcome fo' th' hard-wawkin' mino'ity.

Ah knows thet varmints like Hobbs say thin's like, an' ah quote: "but what happens if a new election brings in a president who is cruel and evil, and this president decides to arrest those who claim that his cruel and evil friends are members of criminal groups?"

Wal, th' fack is thet in a society whar th' majo'ity is lazy as a houn'dog, th' noble defenners of th' rights of th' hard-warkin' minority is of course derided as "cruel an' evil".

Fack is thet we is nowadays always winnin', an' thar is li'l chance thet a president who represents th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity will occupy th' white house. Eff'n a lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity president occupies th' White House, his friends will be lazy as a houn'dog-majo'ity type petty criminals who operate on their own as indivijools an' knows nothin' of teamwawk. Hence, eff'n th' hypothetical improbable situashun featurin' a president representin' th' lazy as a houn'dog majo'ity evah develops, we will be able t'mount effeckive attacks on th' president's friends wifout accusin' them of bein' members of criminal groups. Fo' example, we c'd accuse them of secretly gowin' out at night t'give cash t'lazy as a houn'dog varmints
.

@2010 David Virgil Hobbs

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